Low cost and high quality to accompany children低成本高质量陪伴孩子

 Please don't deprive children of their right to suffer

A sense of life is the basis of love and leads to true conscience and morality.

In the botanical class one afternoon, the teacher prepared a xerophyte for the children to observe.

After introducing the roots, stems, and leaves of xerophytes, the teacher wanted to disassemble a small piece of the original complete plant for dissection, and wanted the children to better understand the stems of xerophytes.

When the teacher tried to decompose the small piece from the root of the plant, the atmosphere suddenly became tense.

Some children immediately said: "Don't hurt it."

Some children said worriedly: "You will hurt it."

Some children asked worriedly: "Teacher, if this is the case, will it die?"

The teacher said, "No! We just disassembled a small piece, and it won't die!"

Despite this explanation, when the teacher dissected the decomposed plant and let the children touch it, most of the children refused to touch it.

There was a child who usually looked carefree, and was very sad at this time, and refused to be touched, as if it was serious enough to strip a life like this, and it would be even more serious if it was touched again!

Although some children touched it, they only touched it carefully and lightly, and then immediately withdrew their hands.

This kind of worry and anxiety about the separation of life is exactly what children develop out of the sense of life!

It is one thing to accept and respect the living state of the jungle in nature, but it is another thing to love life.

And human beings' love for the same kind and love for life must be raised based on the feeling for life.

For children, plants, animals, human beings, and themselves are all the same, the same life.

How did they know?

Even adults know it, but some people feel it, and some people don't.

01

True morality "comes from love"

Do normal children naturally feel this way?

For younger children, it is natural to perceive and connect with other beings, this connection and perception we call love.

Education must first protect this natural wisdom of life, natural love of life, and natural inner friendliness. We must rely on this feeling of life to develop conscience and morality.

This is the real conscience and morality, because it comes from love.

The most serious problems on the earth today, such as the continuous extinction of species, the destruction of the environment, the melting of icebergs, and the decline of human moral standards, all stem from the disconnection with the inner world of life.

This is associated with the blind pursuit of interests in the external material world.

Just like if we completely isolate human beings from nature and land, survival will be problematic.

Likewise, if we fail to go inward to find the resources of our inner life, our civilization and morality will be lost.

And children will help us find ourselves and the earth through this connection and feeling with life.

We train children to read and play the piano, we cultivate various life skills in children, and we work hard to teach them thousands of things, but we often forget to cultivate the most important quality of children - the feeling for life.

What is the sense of life?

The rotation of the sun and the moon is not as touching as a young boy mourning the death of a sparrow in a barn.

It is the heart that cannot bear to be broken when seeing beautiful flowers, the heart that wants to love and care for small animals, it is a soft and sensitive heart.

Perhaps some people have never thought deeply about the concept of "life" at all, and some people have not received enlightenment about "life" since they were young, so they will not teach their children respect for life, but this is actually very important.

Don't think that children don't understand anything.

They will say: "The turtle's water is dirty, he will feel very uncomfortable, let's change the water for him quickly";

They would say: "It's raining, will the rain hurt the little tree?"

In their eyes, everything is alive—little trees feel pain just like them, and little turtles feel uncomfortable because of dirty water. This is such a direct and touching feeling.

Don't think these children's words are childish, listen carefully, what a wonderful voice it is!

Children will grow up eventually, it is important that we learn to respect and care for this soft heart.

No matter how many ups and downs there will be in his life in the future, there will always be a pure place in his heart where he can love, understand, be moved, and appreciate kindness and beauty.

What you protect is the most precious thing in their life, the most cherished thing!

Don't kill the kindness and sensitivity of the child, don't let the child grow into a person who has no feeling for life, is numb and hard, selfish and indifferent, this is the most important thing.

image

02

Wisdom comes from the heart "irrelevant knowledge"

Therefore, don't only care about the development of your child's brain IQ, but ignore the cultivation of his nature.

Wisdom is not about words, not about brain thinking.

In fact, the closer a person is to nature and the earth, the closer his character is to Taoism.

Life and brain are two different concepts. The stronger the brain thinking, the brighter his life does not mean.

The brain is thinking, which accumulates acquired knowledge;

Feeling is the language of the heart, part of a child's nature.

A child's feeling and respect for life is the foundation of connection, allowing him to connect to the earth and everything.

We have long forgotten the limitless potential of this connection.

The extraordinary ability of the mind is gradually forgotten in human society, but it can be picked up again in nature.

For any child, the ability to keenly and accurately perceive the mental state of others (the state of expanded consciousness), even if it does not reach the magical level of super-perception, is enough to escort his future life experience and gradually realize it. Out of his own life wisdom.

There is great wisdom in nature, and great wisdom in life.

Whether they are ancient sages or modern scientists, they all know how to observe and learn the wisdom of nature and life - when the ancient sages thought about how human beings should live, they learned from nature in all aspects;

Scientists also attach great importance to the application of bionics when researching new inventions.

Being close to nature and connecting with life is a natural opportunity for everyone to develop love and wisdom.

Parents cannot deprive their children of this opportunity.

Compared with the considerable progress brought about by learning a talent, the "effect" brought by being close to nature is often not significant.

Therefore, life education has become a luxury.

Children's curiosity about nature and life is natural. If they are not respected and given opportunities, this curiosity will gradually shift. Maybe it's a virtual network, maybe it's an animated movie...

It is our responsibility as adults to hope that every child can have more opportunities to get close to the real nature.

At eight o'clock on Sunday morning, in the living room, I lay lazily on the sofa, looking down at my 3-year-old son playing with Transformers toys.

He wanted to remove the tire of the wheel. The wheel itself is not big, but the child's hands are too small, so it is very difficult to disassemble. After several failed attempts, he asked his mother for help, feeling a little lost, "I'm not very good at it, please help me, mother." Although I have witnessed the failure of the child's efforts several times, I still have no intention of doing it for me. I picked up a wheel, and while demonstrating, explained the essentials of removing a tire. The child tried it again, but it still didn't work, so I explained it in more detail and gave some encouragement. After many attempts, the child succeeded.

Then, under the morning sun, there was such a pure, excited and happy face that was incomparable. I can't forget it for a long time.

At that moment, I suddenly understood that it was the pain after previous failures that catalyzed such a great sense of joy and accomplishment at this moment.

Growing up in a honeypot doesn't know sweetness.

Without ugliness, there is no beauty; without goodness, there is no evil; existence and non-existence intersect; difficulty and easy complement each other; high and low are in harmony; sounds and sounds are in harmony; front and back follow each other.

Isn't this the theory of identity in the theory of contradiction in dialectical materialism?

It was also at that moment that I suddenly figured out, why do so many second-generation rich and second-generation stars, who live so carefree, still take drugs? It turns out that everything is too easy to get, so there is no pleasure. I had to seek excitement in that way.

A while ago, I talked to my father on the phone and told him that my talent was not worthy of my ambition, and it was extremely painful. I have a "natural defect" - my psychological quality and ability to withstand stress are too poor. Ask my father for help, "People like Zhu Yuanzhang and Zhu Di, why are they so strong in their hearts, why can't I?"

My father told me that when Zhu Yuanzhang was young, his relatives left him one after another. He didn't even have a chance to breathe in grief, so he had to find a way to save his life, and was forced to die again and again. Although Zhu Di was a prince, that was what happened after his father became the emperor. He fought in a sea of blood from a mountain of knives. He was the son of a rebel leader, and he also grew up in bitter water. They are all children who have had a hard life since childhood and have been beaten by the wind and waves.

As for me, I have been protected by my father's wings since I was a child, and later by my husband. I am a lucky and happy woman.

It's a pity that I was cultivated in this kind of greenhouse environment. I, who has not experienced wind and rain, and who has poor psychological quality, is insulated from achieving a big career.

"The two contradictory sides penetrate each other, contain each other, and can transform into each other under certain conditions." - Excerpted from high school textbooks.

Combining the story of my son, my own pain, and the growth of Zhu Yuanzhang and Zhu Di, I really complied with the saying "difficulties and hardships make Yuru Yucheng". I would like to tell all parents, if this is the case, please don’t deprive your children of the right to endure hardship, especially those who have been ambitious and ambitious since childhood!

请不要剥夺孩子吃苦的权利

对生命的感觉，是爱的基础，并能带来真正的良知和道德。

一天下午的植物课上，老师准备了一棵旱生植物，让孩子观察。

在介绍完旱生植物的根、茎、叶之后，老师想从原来那棵完整的植物上分解一小块下来，准备解剖，想让孩子们更充分地了解旱生植物的茎。

当老师想要从植物的根上分解那一小块时，气氛一下子紧张起来了。

有的孩子马上说：“别伤害它。”

有的孩子担忧地说：“你会弄伤它的。”

有的孩子担忧地问：“老师，如果这样的话，它会不会死啊？”

老师说：“不会的！我们只是分解一小块，它不会死的！”

尽管这样解释了，但当老师把分解下来的植物解剖开，让孩子触摸时，大部分孩子都拒绝触摸。

有个平时看起来比较大大咧咧的孩子，这时也很难过，并且拒绝触摸，似乎觉得这样剥离一个生命已经够严重了，再触摸就更严重了！

一些孩子虽然触摸了，但也只是小心翼翼、轻轻地碰了一下，然后立即把手收回来。

这种为生命的分离而感到的担忧和不安，正是儿童依据生命的感觉所发展出来的！

接纳和尊重自然界中弱肉强食的生存状态是一回事，对生命之爱又是另一回事。

而人类对同类的爱和对生命之爱，一定是基于对生命的感觉而被养育起来的。

对儿童来说，植物、动物、人类、自己都是一样的，都是同样的生命。

那他们是怎样知道的呢？

成人即使知道，但有的人有感觉，有的人却没有感觉。

01

真正的道德「源自于爱」

是不是正常的儿童都天然有这样的感觉呢？

对于更幼小的孩子来说，感知和联结其他生命是天然的，这样的连结和感知我们称为爱。

教育首先要保护这种天然的生命的智慧、天然的生命之爱，以及天然的内在友善，我们要依靠这种对生命的感觉发展良知和道德。

这才是真正的良知和道德，因为它源于爱。

今天地球上最严峻的问题，例如物种的不断消亡、环境的破坏、冰山的融化、人类道德水准的降低，无不是源于与自己内在生命世界的连结的断裂。

这与一味追求外在物质世界的利益相关联。

就如同如果我们把人类和自然、土地彻底隔离，存活就会出问题一样。

同样，如果我们不能回归内在去寻找我们内在生命的资源，我们的文明和道德就会沦丧。

而儿童会通过这种和生命的联结和感觉，帮我们找回自己和地球。

我们培养孩子读书、弹琴，我们培养孩子各种生活技能，我们费劲地教给孩子千百样，却经常忘记了培养孩子最重要的品质——对生命的感觉。

什么是对生命的感觉？

日月旋转，不及一个小男孩在谷仓哀悼一只麻雀的死亡来得动人。

那是见到美丽的鲜花不忍去折的心，是见到小动物会想去爱护的心，那是一颗柔软而敏感的心。

也许有些人根本从来没有深层次思考过“生命”这个概念，有些人从小就没有接受过有关“生命”的启蒙，所以也不会教给孩子对生命的尊重，但其实这是非常重要的。

别以为孩子什么都不懂。

他们会说：“乌龟的水脏了，他会很难受，我们赶紧给他换水吧”；

他们会说：“下雨了，雨打在小树的身上会疼吗？”

在他们眼里，所有的东西都是有生命的——小树也像他们一样会觉得疼，小乌龟也会因为水脏而觉得不舒服，这是多么直接、多么动人的感受。

不要觉得孩子的这些话语幼稚，仔细听，这是多么美妙的声音！

孩子终究会长大，重要的是，我们要学着去尊重与呵护这颗柔软的心。

无论今后人生多少风雨，他的心里总有一块纯净的地方，让他可以去爱，去体谅，去感动，去欣赏善良与美。

你所卫护的，是他们一生中最宝贵的东西，最值得珍重的东西！

不要扼杀孩子的良善与敏感，不要让孩子成长成一个对生命毫无感觉、麻木坚硬、自私冷漠的人，这才是最重要的。

02

智慧来源于心「无关知识」

所以，不要只关心孩子大脑智商的开发，却忽略了他天性的培养。

智慧不关于文字，不关于大脑思维。

其实一个越接触自然，越靠近大地的人，他的品格越接近于道。

生命和大脑是两个不一样的概念。大脑思维越强，不代表他生命越灿烂。

大脑是思维，积蓄着后天的习得的知识；

而感觉是心的语言，是孩子的天性的一部分。

孩子对生命的感觉和尊重，是一种连接的基础，让他能连接到大地，连接到万物。

我们早已忘记，这种连接所具备的无限潜力。

心灵的非凡能力，在人类社会中逐渐被遗忘，却可以在自然中重新拾起。

对于任何一个孩子来说，敏锐且准确地感知他人心灵状态的能力（意识扩展状态），即使没有达到超感知力那么神奇的地步，却也足以为他今后的人生经历保驾护航，并从中逐渐体悟出属于他自己的人生智慧。

自然之中有大智，生命之中有大慧。

无论是古代的圣贤，还是现代的科学家，他们都懂得观察并学习自然和生命之中的智慧——古代的圣贤思考人类该如何生活的时候，方方面面向自然学习；

科学家在研究新发明的时候，也十分重视仿生学的运用。

亲近自然，连接生命，是每一个人发展爱与智慧的天然机遇。

为人父母，不可剥夺孩子享有这个机遇的权力。

相比于学一项才艺带来的可观进步，亲近自然带来的“效果”往往并不显著，

也因此，生命教育，成为一种奢谈。

孩子对于自然和生命的好奇是天然的，如果没有加以尊重并给予机会，这份好奇就会逐渐转移。或许是虚拟网络，或许是动画电影...

希望每个孩子都能够有更多的机会，亲近真正的大自然，这是我们成人的责任。

周日上午八点，客厅里，我慵懒地躺在沙发上，低着头观察3岁的儿子玩变形金刚的小玩具。

他想把轮子的轮胎拆下来，车轮本身并不大，但奈何孩子手太小，所以拆卸起来很吃力。多次尝试未果后，情绪有些失落地求助妈妈“我不太会唉，妈妈帮帮我吧”。尽管亲眼目睹了孩子几次努力均已失败告终，但我依旧没打算代劳。我拿起一个轮子，一边示范，一边讲解拆轮胎的要领。孩子又一次尝试起来，还是不灵光，我就更详细地讲解一边，外加鼓励一番。多次尝试后，孩子成功了。

然后，清晨的阳光下，那么纯澈、激动、开心到无以伦比的一张脸。让我久久无法忘怀。

那一刻，我忽然就明白了，是之前一次次的失败后的痛苦，催化出来此刻如此巨大的喜悦感和成就感。

蜜罐里长大不知道甜。
没有丑就没有美；没有善就没有恶恶；有无相生；难易相成；高下相倾；音声相和；前后相随。
这不就是辩证唯物法的矛盾论中的同一论么

---

也是那一刻，我忽然想通了，为什么好多富二代、星二代，明明生活那么无忧无虑，却还要去吸毒？原来是万事万物，得来太容易，就没有快感。只好通过那样的方式寻求刺激。

---

前一阵子，跟自己的父亲通电话，诉说自己的才干配不上自己的野心，万分痛苦。自己“天生缺陷”——心理素质和抗压能力太差劲。求助父亲“朱元璋、朱棣那种人，人家为什么内心都那么强大，我怎么就不行呢？”

爸爸告诉我，朱元璋少年时代经历着亲人接二连三离他而去，他甚至没有悲伤的喘息机会，就得赶紧想办法保命，一次次被逼上绝路。朱棣虽贵为皇子，但那也是人家后来老爹当了皇帝后的事儿，人家从小刀山血海里拼杀着，就是个造反头子的儿子，也是苦水里泡着长大的呀。都是从小命苦的、大风大浪摸爬滚打过来的孩子啊。

我呢，从小有父亲羽翼庇护，后来有老公罩着。我是个幸运且幸福的女人。

只可惜，也正是这种温室环境培育出的我，没经过风雨的我，心理素质差的我，是与成就一番大事业绝缘的。

---

“矛盾双方相互渗透，相互包含，在一定的条件下可以相互转化。”——摘自高中课本。

---

结合儿子的故事、我自己的痛苦、朱元璋和朱棣的成长，真的应了那句话“艰难困苦，玉汝于成”。我想告诉所有家长们，既然如此，那么，请不要剥夺孩子吃苦的权利，尤其是那些从小胸怀大志，野心十足的小宝贝！